Red Flag or Trip Wire?

A few months ago, I met someone who seemed very sure of himself.

At least that’s how he struck me.

Confident doesn’t quite capture how I experienced him. Certain is a better word.

He seemed to have opinions about everything. Strong ones.

He called it emphatic.

I called it a potential problem.

The more sure he seemed, the more unsure I felt. The more he spoke, the more I found myself anticipating disagreements.

My initial impression:

This is going to be exhausting.

It took me a few weeks to realize that I wasn’t just reacting to him.

I was reacting to what his CEO energy was stirring up in me.

I took his certainty as a sign that there wouldn’t be much room for me.

And I panicked a little.

Then came the unsolicited marketing advice.

I thought:

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Every conversation felt like a glimpse of a future in which I was misunderstood, exhausted, and constantly feeling the need to defend myself.

I’ll never know if he’s actually as difficult as I imagined.

I’m more interested in grappling with why his certainty rattled me so much.

What was really creating the perceived threat to my sovereignty?

Why did I feel like a warrior holding a shield in one hand and a spear in the other—ready to defend territory nobody was actually trying to take?

I experienced his energy.

I reacted to it.

I immediately started forecasting.

And the forecast quickly began to feel like reality.

I was making decisions based on visceral reactions and calling it intuitive knowing.

Was he difficult?

Maybe.

Was I reacting to something real?

Absolutely.

Was it a red flag?

I’m not so sure.

I think it may have been a trip wire.

A trip wire just tells me that something’s been activated.

That something could be a preference, a value, a fear, or something else.

It may point to a real red flag.

It may point back to me.

Or both.

I’m learning to pay attention to the reaction before I trust the conclusion.

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This is the kind of moment we work with inside INTER•RUPT.

A four-session intensive focused on one recurring pattern and the moment right before a reaction becomes a conclusion.